I have often wondered how people decide to identify themselves – in correspondence particularly. When you think about it, how we use our name is very much like branding who we are and how we want to relate to the world. Here are some common name-branding options and a likely emotional reaction you are likely to receive.
R. V. Stienfenner
Are you being contacted by a man or a woman? This becomes annoyingly awkward
when you want to write a letter or email back to them. This formality betrays
an attitude of self-importance. Does he/she think they are a household name?
It also sends a clear message that you (and everyone else) are unlikely to
get past the veneer. It shouts, “No one will know me!” One suspects
this person keeps everyone at a distance. Doctors and lawyers use this format
a lot. Enough said.
Robert V. Stienfenner
Why the ‘V’? Do we know so many Robert Stienfenners that we have
to distinguish them by a middle initial? It’s not like we are contacting
George Dubya Bush. This variation still has the air of self-importance about
it. What do people call him in normal conversation – Bob, Rob, Bobby
or Robert? It’s hard to tell. Unless you are clearly his equal, he probably
prefers “Mr. Stienfenner.”
Robert Stienfenner
Sounds like an OK guy. Appears to have a touch of formality, but is still approachable.
It may take a few meetings before the relationship gets comfortable and free
flowing, I’d suspect. If you are writing to him go with “Dear
Robert.”
Bob Stienfenner
Now this is a lot friendlier. No apparent pretense. You can go ahead and get
right to the point with this guy. He’s likely to buy lunch. Call him
Bob.
Robert “RV” Stienfenner
Clearly he can’t make up his mind if he’s one of us or not. My
suspicion is that he had a doting mother who made up this “RV” thing
because it was cute and they always took the camper on holidays. He may invite
you over to the trailer park for a brew. Sounds like he wants to be your friend – but
do you want to be his?
Bobby-V “The V is for Victory!” Stienfenner
I guarantee that he has not one but two gold chains around his neck with a
fertility symbol hanging on one of them and an eagle on the other. You just
know he’s going to sell you something! Do not act on his stock tips!
Bobby-V will buy a round for everybody. Needs sedation badly. Start praying
he’ll not marry your sister.
Yes, the name is fictitious. The point is that everything
you do to represent yourself says a little about who
you are, your approachability, and your style
of leadership. There really is no right or wrong here – it is simply
a matter of how you want to be perceived.
What is your purpose in meeting people? Do you want to draw them into your life? Do you want to take advantage of them? Is intimidation something you’re after? Or are you simply trying to keep the connection short-lived? Decide on the outcome you want and then present yourself accordingly.